Would you agree that instant communication has resulted in more misunderstanding than real communication?

No? Well, hear me out here.

A conversation through email or text messaging is potentially not a private one: replies with BCCs and “forwards” are just one click away. These “conversations,” in the absence of face-to-face dialogue are fertile soil for conflict. It is for this very reason that I stopped emailing my parents and sisters years ago.

I have learned that no matter how well-intended the message, it can and (oftentimes will) be miscommunicated or misunderstood, even among friends. True communication is two-way. Email and text messaging, while instant in transmission, do not allow for the basic need for instant feedback in order to move forward.

How do I know if something I have said to someone has come across in a way I have not intended? How do I know whether I am not expressing myself in a way that the other person will catch my meaning? I watch the expression on their faces or for other cues.

How do I know whether my text message to you struck a negative chord with you because, without the benefit of voice inflection to clarify the message, it sounded harsh? How do I know whether my text message has wounded you?

Email and text messaging complicate matters in that respect. This instant communication has resulted in instant hurt that sometimes never finds its resolution.

So the instant communication we enjoy for the convenience is far less convenient that we realize. Conflicts that start with a (hopefully) well-intended sentiment sometimes backfire; if we are determined to get to the bottom of it, we spend more time than would have been necessary in the first place trying to clear the air. What is convenient about that?

Instant communication certainly fulfills a need for keeping in touch. But with regard to bringing up issues? Not so much.

© Alexa Lopez, 2009