Growing Edges
alexa lopezArchive for July, 2008
Angry Eyes
I used to wish I had brown eyes so that I could wear any color eyeshadow I felt like wearing.
Then, I found a way to wear the colors I like without “canceling out” the green of my eyes and without overdoing it by lining my eyes with too much black.
And why am I telling you this?
My kind, gentle, considerate 9-year-old told me this the other night right after I took off my makeup: “Mom, when you wear makeup on your eyes, you look like one of those moms who says ‘No’ all the time, but when you don’t wear any, you look like the real you, the fun mom.”
“I don’t understand, honey.” I wasn’t quite sure what he was trying to say. “Do I act differently when I wear makeup?”
“No, you’re still fun, but you look like an angry mom when you wear makeup,” he explained.
No kidding! I always giggle when this stuff happens.
See, Abe has a way of articulating his thoughts and feelings in such a loving way, and his heart is always in a great place when he speaks. I am not one who lives to be enslaved by the opinions of others; however, the opinions of those in my family matter greatly to me so I wanted to give this some serious consideration.
“So, what about wearing makeup to bring out the color of my eyes?” I asked him.
“Your eyes are prettier without the makeup,” he responded. “And, you look like the fun mom without it.”
What woman doesn’t want to hear that she is pretty without makeup? His observation is good for my “approaching 40″ ego. 
So, my made-up eyes are angry eyes…not quite the look I’m going for.
I strive to be a mom who siezes any opportunity to appreciate the profundity that pours from the hearts of my children. If I hear with my heart and not just my ears, I can learn quite a bit from them. I think I heard this one!
© Alexa Lopez, 2008
Happy Anniversary-Eve
Our 14-year old daughter ‘Saja asks me at least twice a year if she can see my wedding dress, and my response is always, “Nah, it’s in one of the boxes in the garage; I don’t feel like digging it out.” I know…I’m such a party pooper. 
Well, she and I were trying to organize the garage yesterday and she asked every so often, “Is that the box with your wedding dress?”
“Seriously?” I thought to myself, “We’re in the middle of a huge project, and she is asking about my wedding dress!” I desperately wanted to stay on-task since I finally felt motivated to move beyond the “thinking phase” of garage organization.
Maybe she didn’t believe I really kept it since she had only seen it in pictures.
Or maybe she really wanted to see it “up close and personal.”
We happened upon the storage box that contained my wedding dress; I was kind of worried what it might look like now, after being packed away nearly 18 years.
It was beautiful. Badly wrinkled and musty-smelling, but beautiful: still white and poofy with all its beads.
“You should put it on!” She said excitedly.
“No, I…,” I began, until I remembered that it was the eve of our 18th anniversary; this would be our first — and hopefully last — anniversary apart. ”Okay! And we can email a picture to your Papa so he can see his bride on our anniversary tomorrow.”
“Mom’s going to put on her wedding dress!” she called to her siblings.
The kids were SOOO excited about this! They waited anxiously while ‘Saja buttoned and zipped me up.
Acia took pictures, our sons just had to hug their mom in her wedding dress (Awww! —it was so special), and our cats wanted to play in the layers of tulle inside the dress as I stood for pictures. It became an unexpected family event! All that was missing was Richard in his tuxedo tails with his emerald green tie and cummerbund.
Yeah, this minor change in plans became the highlight of my anniversary eve. The garage gets to wait another day or two.
© Alexa Lopez, 2008
