Growing Edges

alexa lopez

Archive for June, 2008

Idle Time Well Spent

When I lived with my mom, I spent a lot of time outside doing nothing. I called it boredom back then. Today, I look on that idle time with fondness.

While my parents were still married, our dad bought a house on a lake across from a country club. It wasn’t acreage by any means, but the entire west side of the house had one amazing view. I remember being 8 years old and thinking we must have been rich to be able to afford that place. Well, my dad took his “riches” with him when he remarried. He did, however, let my mom keep the house.

The lake which used our back yard for part of its shoreline and our dock on that lake fostered in me a deep affection and appreciation for daydreaming…just “being”… outdoors.

A dozen elm trees gave us shade from the afternoon sun and its reflection off the lake into our western-facing, huge living room window. I often sat on the tire swing that hung from one of those elms and just sang by myself in the summer breeze.

I often sat on the dock and watched — and sometimes fed — the ducks. In the summertime we waded in and swam in that lake; straddling logs from fallen trees and using them as “boats.” On clear days I sat at our dock’s edge and looked to the Flatirons in Boulder and the snow-capped Longs and Pikes Peaks in the distance. I wrote many poems during those afternoons.

Best of all were the breezy, even windy days when the dock rocked and jumped the waves, the restless water lapping loudly against the dock’s sides. I reveled in sitting on the dock, just watching the water roll toward me.

I moved from that beauty to (what I call) the desolation of Las Vegas when I was 13, where I lived for fourteen years.

Our two daughters were almost four and two when we left Vegas for the Pacific Northwest. I tell you the truth: we spent more time outdoors the first summer in Washington than in the four previous summers in Las Vegas combined.

Last spring, before our four oldest kids started summer break, I took our youngest to a “park” that had no playground. It was a grassy area at the south end of Capitol Lake, part of a 1-mile walking path that framed the body of water. I expected a bit of a protest from him that no playground equipment awaited him. I was surprised by his lack of mention about this. Instead, he sat on the dock beside me and daydreamed.

He looked around at the waves approaching our dock and sat very still, looking toward the lake’s center. After a long moment he said, “We’re moving!”

But he knew we weren’t moving. The water’s movement made it appear that we were floating freely in the lake.

He just wanted to stay and watch — no, experience — this.

He tires of playground equipment after awhile, but he never tires of just being outdoors.

And would you believe that every summer our kids hound me, not about going to amusement/theme parks or other such attractions…they hound me about taking them to a local park in our area where we can hike down the to the rocky beach of the Puget Sound and enjoy it: rocks, cold water, sand dollars, shells, Izzie the Beach Dog, high tide or low tide…non-commercial stuff. They want to do this every day in the summer!

Can I just say I am so blessed!?!?

Idle time for kids is underrated; it can be a useful means of helping our children learn to sit still and enjoy what’s around. Kids need time to just become cognizant of the profound beauty of their surroundings. I believe this comes naturally to them if we parents would allow for it. We just need to bring them to the equipmentless park once in awhile.

We as parents have an opportunity to be kids again.  Why not go for it, relive the wonder and amazement  of childhood?

 © Alexa Lopez 2008

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Risking My Life for a Memory

Don’t believe your teenager — not even for a moment — when she tells you that she knows how to drive simply because she has watched closely how you drive. :wink:

I remember thinking how easy driving looked when I was ever the young passenger, and I don’t much remember the first time I drove, probably because by the time I got my permit, I’d had four years’ experience driving my dad’s golf cart and that of my neighbor. It wasn’t street driving, but it sure helped me “get the feel” of it.

Our oldest child got her instruction permit today and our youth pastor’s wife agreed she would take her out in the next few days for some driving practice. I’m not quite certain where I mustered the courage, but when we got home from the Department of Licensing, I suddenly gave my daughter the keysOMG!!! and told her to drive me around the neighborhood. This had not been my plan.

Keep in mind that because her first scheduled driving day in Driver’s Ed is next Wednesday, she has had ZERO time behind the wheel, not even in a golf cart.

I realized how very little she knew about driving. More importantly, SHE realized how very little she knew about driving. But there we were, and I was freaking out. My 13-year-old took pictures and video — okay; memories are good.

My knuckles tingled as the blood was able to circulate through them once we were parked. I am happy to say we did survive the neighborhood excursion. :shock:

Mat — aka “Binky,” aka “Wild Youth Pastor Who is Flustered by Nothing” — almost didn’t. He and Liz came by tonight and told Acia to take them for a drive in their car, a stick shift. “Good luck with that,” I laughed. They came back a couple of minutes later to make a go of it with our automatic trannie.

Mat didn’t know she had never driven before today. His exact words were, “I just died a little on the inside.”

So, while it had not been my plan to drive with her today (I guess I hadn’t had any plan), I suppose the funny-memory-loving mom in me decided, without my conscious permission, to go for it. The more I thought about it (after-the-fact), one of her parents should be able to share in the first-time driving experience. I preferred that it would be her very calm and adventurous father, but in his absence, I guess I didn’t have a choice but to participate. :grin:

This is one of many milestone-memories I could have kicked myself later for missing. I’m so glad I didn’t have to!

© Alexa Lopez 2008 

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